Couch Critic Reviews Last Week’s Games
Hein aka Couch Critic has been a regular on Oracle Rugby’s What the Ruck. Hein has decided to write review’s for us, yes I know I have given up on RECAPS, they were the least read pieces on Oracle Rugby, besides I have decided to rather make cash then tell you what happened last week!!
Nevertheless Couch Critic is an excellent pen and we should expect nothing less than brilliant stuff from his desk, so here goes…
I am sure you will enjoy his banter as much as we do. Here is to a long and fruitful relationship!
Couch Critic #02
ITALY V GEORGIA
Considering that Italy have been part of the Six Nations for many a moon and the fact that this game was played in Florence, the Georgians didn’t disgrace themselves by any means and upon further consideration the Italians should be more concerned than pleased by their performance from my perspective – they were anything but molto convincing.
Betting Wise: This game ended pretty much on the handicap depending on what you could get from your favourite bookie.
Will the Italy be more Fiat or Ferrari this coming weekend against the Wobbalies? A 20-odd point cushion could entice a few out there to back the Azzurri.
SCOTLAND V FIJI
The Scots are a team who are striving to find that magic blend between the physical, tight game and an expansive approach getting their attacking players into the game. At the moment there is still a bit too much mix in their cocktail and too little hard liquor to make them the drink of choice. They just aren’t quite physical enough in the pack nor slick enough at the back (yet) to bother the big boys. On a day that they can get close to matching one of the big teams upfront they do however have the potential to leave them very much shaken and stirred, leaving every McLeod out there enjoying a single malt in celebration.
Betting Wise: The Scots comfortably beat the cap with their second half surge. If you had Seymour down for a hat trick you official qualify for Bond 007 betting status.
Gregor Townsend’s team will have to channel their inner Highlander if they are to claim the scalp of the Springboks this weekend. With a handicap of about one try the kilted clan could have more followers than Duncan Macleod and William Wallace combined.
ENGLAND V NEW ZEALAND
The Poms got in their faces worse than rush hour on a London Underground train – there was just nowhere to go for the Kiwis in the face of Mitchell’s rush defence. In the end the All Blacks were able to knuckle down and get the job done (after a moment of panic waiting for TMO Marius Jonker to come to their aid) ugly.
Betting Wise: Well after last week who would have thought Eddie’s men could summon the testicular fortitude to mix it with the world champs… The Roses covered the 14- point cap with ease, and left this critic eating humble pie.
WALES V AUSTRALIA
This game resembled watching a fight between two drunk guys (both over weight and past their prime as well). It was not a match to show someone wanting to entice them to start following rugby as there is probably more action at the Chelsea flower show than there was at the Millennium stadium on this occasion. Wales were far and away the “better” of the two teams but their nerve seemed to let them down somewhat on the big occasion of trying to finally get one over the Wallabies.
Betting Wise: In the end the handicap was well set by the bookies but personally backing the Welsh in some way shape or form was still the right way to go for mind.
IRELAND V ARGENTINA
Argentina play a similar game to France; fast paced with great interplay between backs and forwards (at times it must feel like you are playing against 20!) and they complement this with no shortage of physicality from the big boys upfront. Ireland are a bit more structured and disciplined in their approach. In the end this won them the game but the Argies certainly gave them a good fright.
Betting Wise: Those expecting an easy outing for the Irish must not have watched the Rugby Championship. Under Ladesma traveling is no longer an issue for this Puma outfit. The cap of 17 points was never in doubt.
Joe Schmidt has already proven that he knows how to mastermind a road-block to halt his countrymen, but on this occasion, I reckon Hanson will have his chargers in monster-truck mode ready to demolish what’s in front of them. NZ by 10-15 points.
FRANCE V SOUTH AFRICA
In Wellington the Boks won a game they probably should have lost and in Pretoria the roles were reversed. At Twickenham the men in green and gold were again unlucky only to enjoy a good piece of fortune against the French, as a late penalty kick only barely made it over the chalk and in time for a last-gasp lineout. Siya’s side lacked the hunger and intensity for the majority of the contest but when it mattered most the Boks were able to keep their heads and not cock up against the plucky roosters.
Betting Wise: The bookies again called this one right. The handicap was around the 2-5 point mark throughout the week and some fortunate souls might have been on the right side of some price shopping and others unfortunately could have been left mumbling merde in frustration.
France and Argentina promises to be one heck of clash. If the bookies make the mistake of giving the home side too much respect then it’s time to get on board the Latin Express and ride it all the way to Payout Station!
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